Years ago, during a prolonged season of fighting against some of my own limiting beliefs, I wrote a series on experiencing freedom. Or, more accurately, I wrote my way out of those beliefs into freedom–freedom from unrealistic expectations, fear, false labels, and spiritual bondage. I thought I’d revisit this post on freedom from guilt as we enter the summer season, one oddly fraught with guilt over work, family time, body shape and size, and summer routines and rhythms.
I’ve found that the areas in which we seek freedom are as unique as our personalities. Some hope to break free from negative thought patterns, while others seek freedom from unhealthy habits. Some desire freedom from a lack of faith, and others hope for freedom from the inner mean girl who bullies them daily.
We may have poor role models or live under legalism or we simply don’t know where to begin. While there are differences between us, I often see Guilt is a limiting factor in our search for freedom regardless of our circumstances.
Sensitivity to the inner voice of guilt is a particularly feminine skill set. We feel guilty if we leave household chores undone, if we don’t exercise, if we told our kids no, if we were too lenient, if we ate the last piece of cake. We feel guilty if we expressed vulnerability, if we felt anger, if we gave way to exhaustion. Guilty if we worked too much or too little, or if we watched netflix after a long day. Guilty if we enjoy time alone or time with our friends, if we voted for the wrong person, if we misread our instincts. Guilty if we disagreed with the preacher on Sunday. Guilty if we missed an event. Guilty if we listened to a lie, received it as truth, and let it sink under our skin.
Guilt is a common companion to freedom seekers, an unwelcome guest whose stay has no foreseeable end.
Here are three things to remember, when Guilt arrives uninvited:
Guilt is a wasted emotion.
Guilt will not change a situation or turn back time or make things better. Reject guilt and ask yourself what is a more productive and healthy emotion for your particular situation? Our time and emotional energy are better spent on cultivating a life that leads to glorious acts of freedom, not regrets.
Guilt is selfish.
It says your desires don’t matter, so you begin to serve the guilt instead of serving your passions. Discover what makes you come alive, and invite it in. Allow yourself to live freely without the voice of guilt attaching itself to the invitation.
Guilt sounds like someone you know.
Pay attention to whose voice you hear when guilt speaks. The inner voice of guilt inside of me sounds suspiciously like myself, not my husband, my friends, and certainly not the Holy Spirit. I sometimes blame others for a voice that originates inside me. Find the voice that sounds like freedom and let it speak life, not limitations.
Freedom and Guilt cannot co-exist. May the voice of Freedom call you deeper into a life of presence and passion, a life fully alive, a life that welcomes imperfection as the cost of being human.
